Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
