nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
