whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
