nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
