I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
