It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
