Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
