Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
