hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
