I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
