i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
