Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
