I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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