Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
