are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
