I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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