Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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