awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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