How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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