What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
