where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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