I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
