i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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