she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
