His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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