i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
