It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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