I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
