sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
