If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
