I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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