that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
