He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Non-Jews are for practice
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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