i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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