Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
