i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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