he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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