1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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