i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize