Where did you get a picture of my penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
