And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
