I'm going to jail i love you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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