This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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