Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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