my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
