This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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