I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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