ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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