It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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