Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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