I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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